Genesis Aims Fake Engine Noise at the Sidewalk. Jail the Committee.

Genesis built its first high-performance car and then bolted two speakers to the outside of it. Front and rear. Aimed out at you. Genesis says they simulate engine sounds, with exclusive Magma driving sounds inspired by Goodwood Festival audio. A hill climb in Sussex, played at pedestrians, by a car with no engine to be honest about.

Somebody engineered this car properly. That is honest work and I will shake every hand in it. Then a second room, one with a slide deck in it, decided honest work does not sell without a soundtrack. Put the second room in the dock. The committee, the sound department, every man who approved Goodwood audio as a feature.

A company that has to simulate the thing it replaced has told you what it thinks it replaced.

They also wrote software that gives the car gears. Virtual Gear Shift, Genesis calls it. The car has no gears. A gear is a ratio you can count the teeth on. This is a number climbing a screen.

Genesis wants $69,950, which the company states excludes tax, title, license, dealer fees and destination charges. You are buying canards, forged wheels and a real differential. You are also buying a hill in Sussex.

Gary runs my homeowners association. He cited me once for engine noise before 8 a.m., clipboard in hand, wearing the face of a man who has found his life's work. Genesis now sells a car whose engine noise is a software feature played through speakers pointed at the street. There is no engine for Gary to cite. His ordinance has nothing to grab. I have never pitied a man more.

The Magma is expected to arrive at launch at select Genesis retailers in California, New York and New Jersey in the coming weeks. Three states. A halo car for three states, and the halo is a recording.

The engineers keep their handshake. The second room gets the dock, then a bench and a set of feeler gauges, then a garage until every one of them can name an engine by ear, and then I want